Study: When Where & How You Live
Amounts to a Breakup

By: House Method
Key findings
  • 66% of women and 56% of men would break it off if they found out their partner lives in a “rough” neighborhood.
  • An overwhelming majority of singles say they will not date a partner who lives with their parents.
  • More than 30% of singles say they would end a relationship if a partner lives “too far” from their own home—even if that’s in the same town.

When it comes to romantic relationships, what exactly amounts to attraction can be unpredictable. There’s a lot we don’t have control over, but when it comes to our homes, there are ways we can ensure we’re not sending up red flags.

To better understand what can add up to attraction—or not—when it comes to our homes and where we live, we surveyed more than 1,000 single men and women about turn-ons and turn-offs of when it comes to a romantic partner’s home.

We surveyed respondents on how perceived cost of a partner’s home and neighborhood affect their perceptions of the relationship, how distance between homes factors into romantic companionship, and just how much snooping we do in a partner’s home.

66% of women say that they would end a dating relationship if they found their partner lives in a “rough” neighborhood, and 56% of men would do the same.”

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Would you date someone who lives in a “rough” neighborhood? The majority of singles say no.

The perceived value of a home or neighborhood can be a turn-off: 47% of women surveyed say that a date whose home is not as nice as theirs is a turn-off, and 34% of men feel the same way. Sentiments are similar when it comes to neighborhoods where our dates live. Our survey shows that 44% of women and 40% of men say a partner who lives in a neighborhood not as nice as theirs is a turn-off.

Neighborhood safety can also be a deal breaker in a romantic relationships: 66% of women say that they would actually end a relationship if they found out their partner lives in a “rough” neighborhood, and 56% of men would do the same.

Which is the bigger deal breaker: living with parents or living with roommates? The answer depends on your gender.

If you had to choose between your partner living with a roommate or living with their parents, which would be the deal breaker for you? Both can infringe on privacy and throw a wrench into intimacy, and both can signal either financial responsibility or lack of financial independence—it all depends on the circumstance.

But brass tacks, it seems that dating someone who lives with a roommate is a bigger deal to men than it is to women. Only 20% of women say that a partner having a roommate is a deal breaker in a dating relationship, while 39% of men say that a roommate situation would be enough to call it off. And women? Women would much rather date someone with a roommate situation than someone with a parent situation.

More than 83% of women surveyed say that they would not date a partner who lives with their parents, and 63% of men say the same. This could present some problems in execution, though: for the first time in 130 years, more young adults live with their parents than live with partners.  In fact, 32% of adults aged 18–34 live with their parents.

More than 83% of women say that they would not date a partner who lives with their parents, and 63% of men say the same.”

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The biggest turn-off for women? Flashing those guns.

What about decor? Cleanliness? How your house looks and feels matters when you bring a date back to your place.

Given their druthers, men would rather see guns on the wall of their date’s house than a junky house. The number-one turn-off inside a date’s home for a man is junkiness, but perhaps most surprising is that the number-five top turn-off is a date having a small pet like a hamster or gerbil in their home—no squeaky hamster wheels, please.  

Women would rather not, however, see weapons on display—that’s their number-one turn-off—and unlike men, name Disney paraphernalia on display as a top turn-off.

It seems everyone regardless of gender would rather a date display empty Stoli bottles than any political paraphernalia, regardless of their party affiliation.

Kings and queens of convenience, many singles still consider “in-town” to be too far

It seems that many relationships aren’t afraid to go the long distance route, but there’s a very distinct line between local relationships and true long distance. And when it comes to local relationships, too far is too much. More than 30% of singles say they would end a relationship if a romantic partner lives far from their own home—even if that’s in the same town.

Men are slightly—just 1.12%—more likely than women to travel a considerable distance within the same city for a romantic partner.

More than 30% of singles say they would end a relationship if a romantic partner lives far from their own home—even if that's in the same town.”

Where do your dates snoop in your home? Pretty much everywhere.

When it comes to snooping around a date’s home or apartment, women are more prone to give into their curiosity. Fifty-two percent of women say they have looked in a dating partner’s bathroom cabinets, and 30% say they’ve looked through a date’s dresser drawers. Among all respondents, the bathroom cabinet was the most popular place for peeking—perhaps because we’re more or less guaranteed at least several minutes of privacy while we’re satisfying that itch.

But when it comes to the cost of a dating partner’s living situation, men are more likely to do the snooping: 21% of men say they have looked up the cost of a dating partner’s home or rent, while only 19% of women say they have done the same.

Methodology

We collected survey responses from 1,034 singles Amazon’s Mechanical Turk. 49.8% of participants were female, and 50.1% were male. The data we are presenting relies on self report. There are many issues with self reported data, like selective memory, telescoping, attribution, and exaggeration.

Fair use statement

If you’d like to share our graphics and information with your own audience for noncommercial purposes, go for it. We ask only that you be a good internet neighbor and provide a link back to this page so the House Method team gets credit for their work.


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